Reflect on the Hardest thing you've had to forgive someone for. What made it so Difficult?

An 18 year old without a clue of what lied ahead. Graduation was around the corner and not a worry in the world.

Is there anything you might have to be forgiven for? (Anonymous)

• Yes, I have prayed on it
• No, they deserved it
• IDK at the Moment

What was the hardest thing I have had to forgive someone for? Truth? My biological Dad's choices as well as close friend's decision for life. Often times, throughout American Society, we are taught we need to say sorry, give hugs and forgive that person for what has happened. I agree, however, we are adults and not everyone will or can accept a sorry, or a hug or allowing anything to be water under the bridge. Let's dissect how this all works, and how it can be difficult.

"Why do I have to say sorry, they started it?" Sound familiar? Little me would like to point out; it no longer matters whether the other person was at fault, the role they play, or the full details of the situation. What matters is the responsibility we take in the role we played, what we can do after and how to move forward.

For example, with the situation involving My Bio, he made many choices and feel victim to Worldly Pleasures. Sidenote: Nothing outside of you will ever fulfill the hole within you. Moving on, due to his choices, I became victim of his sinful nature, and it was not my fault. Yes, the Bible says we are all born sinners, however, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, this has been voided out and by accepting him as our Lord and Savior. Also, by seeking FIRST the Kingdom of God all else will be added to us. In his case, I know now, he was/ is full of childhood pain. We have similar childhoods, but I saw my parents and went the opposite direction. If you are wondering how, the only answer I have is God. I knew I was different from the moment I could recall my first memory, which is around 1-3 years old. With Papa by my side, I knew I was gonna be alright. After processing my childhood, in more detail, I knew I had to forgive my Dad for what had been done. It does not excuse the act, it at least brings me peace. The role I played, was being the good at wrong place at the wrong time. My responsibility is to heal what someone else broke, without holding a grudge and a knife to their throats. The "Why me" question no longer lingers, because it really doesn't matter, does it? I have forgiven and let go of what is out of my physical control. There is no point in a sorry. Next person is a dear friend who was once a sister.

If you personally know me, you know who this may be, but I will keep the names out of this blog. I forgive my past bestie for ending our friendship, without another word and living her own life. Again, more details to be had, however, not for today. I will tell you, this friendship ending was worse than the above Bio situation. We were friends for approximately 16 years. Which is a decent amount of time in my book. I cannot tell you why I got ghosted or how it ended, and even though I would love that "closure," I know it is not realistic conversation. I ruminate, from time to time, on all the things I had said over the years, and thinking may be it was all my fault. Recapping little me, it really does not make a difference now. I have forgiven her and pray nothing but the best. Papa is still in the middle of healing this wound, but I will continue to have faith it will heal and it will become a distant memory. That is all I have to say on this situation.

So, what made each of these so difficult to forgive? The first one is pretty straight to the point, he was my Dad, and I knew him as my Dad. Now, he is Bio, simply the individual who helped my Mom make and have me. In my heart he will always be my Dad, but in the world, he is a stranger with a name. The second felt like losing a sister, but I know Papa has other plans. I trust him, and will just follow him.

Ill ask the next question for you. How can you still believe in God after all the pain and suffering? Easy, this pain and suffering molded me to who I am today. I am still on a journey with Papa and plan to be for the rest of my earthly days. When it comes to facing that past pain with present pain, you become unbothered. Scripture says: I was made in his imagine, in the likeness of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I was bought at a price and I am not my own. (Find Scripture marks Later:))

How relieving is it to know I do not have to carry my Dad's sinful choices or a dear friends choices to leave. Papa goes before me and has already taken care of it. There is no need to dwell any longer. These are my testimonies that the Living God is here, right now, with you and me. Loving us in the tears and the laughter. I don't have to forget the good times each of those individuals gave me, but I will always believe in and fear the one who can kill both the soul and body.

What can mere man do to me?

Bottomline, Papa never promised an easy life, and he will NOT just take away your pain. However, you can give him your wound, your broken leg, your heart of stone, he will heal and make it flesh. You can do whatever you want, but whether it aligns with his will or not, you would have to take that up with him. Conversation for another day. I pray this had some reflective understanding of hardships with God on top. Stay safe and stay in prayer! Love you lots. See you soon <3