What is getting in your way?

Why does it have to be so hard to reparent and learn to love yourself, when it wasn't your job in the first place? Truth? Your parents did not know any better, but this does not excuse what has happened. No matter the type of childhood you had, let us be honest and say that it still was not all great, you deserve unconditional love.

So, what is getting in your way of that love and learning to do better and be better than your parents? Honestly, You are in your own way. Not your husband, boyfriend, mom, dad or God, it is just you. But there is a catch, you do not have to figure it out or heal on your own.

Lets talk about it. So, you had a not so great childhood. Any abuse is terrible abuse, so there is no comparison. However, it is time to move forward, forgive and finally have peace. You were ignored, belittled, and Matilda'd your whole life. If you do not know what Matilda'd means, go watch the movie, Matilda. Anyways, you were the strong one, so mom and dad or guardian did not have to worry about you. So independent and the only adult in the room. Maybe, you were the rebellious one, no matter the good you did, they did not see you until they had to pick you up from the station. Any attention was good attention. Am I close? Alcoholic parents, Drug addicted guardians, or foster homes that took your innocence, I see you.

Short story, I had a drug addicted, lust driven and alcoholic dad, which was never around. I had a mom who was mentally, emotionally and physically abused by her husband. There I was, age 3, already aware of the fate that I was born into. Screams of arguments, and exposed to sexual behaviors before I could even piece together what it was. Later, age 6 & 8, innocence was taken by my dad, and knew that I needed to be better and do better than either of them. Suicidal thoughts by age 10, and if it was not for my Little Sister, who I cherish, I would probably not be here. No one was safe, not one person but me. No one could be trusted but myself. Solitude and isolation was the key I had. Walls so high, it would keep both love and pain out. Joining the Army by age 20, and looked for love in all the wrong places.

So why am I telling you all this? What is the point? I am not looking for empathy or sympathy. The transparency I am giving you is to show you that you are your own person. You are the one who holds the power to be better than them, whoever hurt you in your past, is allowed to stay there. Heal the wound and triggers. take a look at your life, what is standing in your way? It is you.

It is time to be honest with yourself and time to look for guidance or help. You did not gain the pain overnight so the healing will also take time. Are you ready to finally relieve your heart, mind body and soul of this pain? The pain of your past should stay there, then your future will look a little more brighter.

"Come to me all who are weary or burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30

Papa knows your pain, just like he knows mine. I tried to heal me without him and it caused more pain. I humbled myself before him, bringing all that burdened me and he took it from me. I share this good news from a place of experience. It is up to you to take it. You have to be the one to choose to be the safe person you needed when you were little.

Contact me if you would like to know how I did it or need a friend to walk with you, a Sister in Christ, that knows the road all too well.

May God bless you and keep you, Amen!